Saturday, June 20, 2009
Summer Camp, 1985
This installation is the Second Life counterpart to my painting "Bending Trees," for the Aequitas group exhibition in both NYC and the Caerleon Art Collective sim.




Teleport - http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Collective2/63/31/21
When I was first approached to be in this exhibition, and was told that the theme of the show was to be based around childhood memories, I instantly knew which of my own experiences I would revisit:
I was a pretty sheltered, innocent, carefree child until I went away to summer camp when I was about 9 years old. The two weeks I was away destroyed me emotionally; I was terribly homesick, and was completely ostracized and rejected by the other kids in the camp (including my friend, whom I had gone with specifically so that neither of us would feel totally alone). It was really the beginning of a huge complex I still have to this day over my fear of rejection. Obviously, I've come a long way since I was 9 years old, but that experience with summer camp traumatized me deeply. When I returned home, finally, I had separation anxiety from my mother, and I had to go to therapy for a long time afterward. I did end up a stronger person in some ways, and my independent thinking & my resolve to fight and stick up for myself grew as a result. So, for what it's worth, the experience, though mostly bad, DID turn out to be positive in many ways, and really helped to make me what I am today.
In this installation, I attempted to capture an experience I had every sunrise while away at camp. As I'd slowly wake in my sleeping bag, for the first brief moments I would believe that I was home, in my own bed; and as I'd fully gain consciousness, the horror of my situation would set in once again.
I have a recurring fear that perhaps the past 24 years of my life have been a dream, and someday I will wake up, still in bed at camp.
Instructions for viewing:
- Set daylight settings to Sunrise (World -- Environment Settings -- Sunrise)
- Turn up the volume on Sounds
- Touch the bed (Disable your animation override, if applicable)
- Touch the radio underneath the bed
Teleport - http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Collective2/63/31/21
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Great advice from a wise friend --
"Let all your expectations disappear and just BE."
Monday, June 15, 2009
Found in one of my old high school journals --
Frustration is one of the great things in Art, satisfaction is nothing.-- Malcolm McLaren, college notes (winter 1967/8)
(I am not a huge fan of M. McLaren, but this is a pretty wise statement.)
Friday, June 12, 2009
Why
There are times that I feel like just walking away from all of this -- Second Life, an art career, stuff like that.
I can't help but wonder: what is the point of it all?
Do I really have anything important or significant to say to the world? I mean, really?
I struggle with the notion that my work is mediocre at best, for the most part; and that I just can't hack it. I feel some joy at minor accomplishments & small victories, but it's not enough; I am unfulfilled. I keep trying, but I'm still left feeling empty. I'm not satisfied.
Plenty of artists & creative people are perfectly content to retread familiar art territory; and plenty of good, even GREAT art comes out of that process. But that's not enough for me. I struggle to find something NEW, to discover something that has never been seen or done before. Second Life art is a start, but... it doesn't quite fill that void yet for me, not yet anyway.
And even if I found sudden success in that respect -- What the hell would I do with the whole art world rat-race anyway? I couldn't handle that, at least not now, as I am.
These are all simply rhetorical questions; the only answers I can really expect are from myself, and with time.
I'm not giving up, I CAN'T give up. Just having an existential crisis, again. Questioning, re-examining, searching, wondering, thinking.
I can't help but wonder: what is the point of it all?
Do I really have anything important or significant to say to the world? I mean, really?
I struggle with the notion that my work is mediocre at best, for the most part; and that I just can't hack it. I feel some joy at minor accomplishments & small victories, but it's not enough; I am unfulfilled. I keep trying, but I'm still left feeling empty. I'm not satisfied.
Plenty of artists & creative people are perfectly content to retread familiar art territory; and plenty of good, even GREAT art comes out of that process. But that's not enough for me. I struggle to find something NEW, to discover something that has never been seen or done before. Second Life art is a start, but... it doesn't quite fill that void yet for me, not yet anyway.
And even if I found sudden success in that respect -- What the hell would I do with the whole art world rat-race anyway? I couldn't handle that, at least not now, as I am.
These are all simply rhetorical questions; the only answers I can really expect are from myself, and with time.
I'm not giving up, I CAN'T give up. Just having an existential crisis, again. Questioning, re-examining, searching, wondering, thinking.
Labels:
depression,
emotional bullshit,
introspection,
learning
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Oh yeah, by the way, I use Twitter sometimes --
http://twitter.com/Nebulosus
-- if you wanna follow me.
I'm still getting the hang of it, & still not posting all that regularly, but I'm getting used to it & more use out of it.
Sometimes I post pictures, too.
http://twitter.com/Nebulosus
-- if you wanna follow me.
I'm still getting the hang of it, & still not posting all that regularly, but I'm getting used to it & more use out of it.
Sometimes I post pictures, too.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
New commission piece - 'Talk To Me'
About twelve hours ago, I finished my latest painting, Talk To Me; and about 8 hours ago, I delivered it to its recipient.
Pics:
Pics:
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Aequitas -- first pictures of the real-life show
Photos courtesy of Stephen Beveridge/Sowa Mai.
(If you can't see the embedded slideshow, click here to view)
(If you can't see the embedded slideshow, click here to view)
Aequitas
Artspace OSA
June 1 - June 30, 2009
Reception Friday June 19th. 6:30-8:30
178 Bennett Ave @ 189th St, NYC
1 train to 191st Street | A train to 190th Street
Second Life Version
Caerleon Art Collective
June 26 - July 3, 2009
Reception June 26th. 6:30-8:30slpm
slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Co llective2/108/48/24/
Artspace OSA
June 1 - June 30, 2009
Reception Friday June 19th. 6:30-8:30
178 Bennett Ave @ 189th St, NYC
1 train to 191st Street | A train to 190th Street
Second Life Version
Caerleon Art Collective
June 26 - July 3, 2009
Reception June 26th. 6:30-8:30slpm
slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Co llective2/108/48/24/
Labels:
Aequitas,
Bending Trees,
Sowa Mai,
Stephen Beveridge
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friends
All of you out there who have a network of friends, with whom you socialize in-person, on a somewhat regular basis -- never, ever take that for granted. You may or may not realize just how lucky you are.
You're lucky, and I envy you.
You're lucky, and I envy you.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Beta-testing AvaLine
Arahan emailed me today to tell me about AvaLine, a new way to use voice chat in Second Life -- it enables you to receive phone calls to your avatar. It's only in beta testing just now, but I thought I'd be one of the 1,000 people who would give it a shot!
Here's how it works:
1.) Dial one of the numbers listed below:
Boston: +1 617-861-0749
Chicago: +1 312-348-3694
Dallas: +1 972-813-0067
Los Angeles: +1 213-271-2575
New York: +1 212-660-9951
Philadelphia: +1 215-475-5291
San Francisco: +1 415-490-9443
Washington DC: +1 202-629-9859
London, UK: +44 20-7100-5624
(* long-distance rates may apply, check before you call)
2.) When prompted, enter the access code of the person you want to call, followed by the pound sign (#). [Obviously, you have to know their access code beforehand.]
-- If the person is logged in, and is currently accepting voice calls, they will get a notification, which looks like this:
Bear in mind that the person you call WILL be able to see what phone number you're calling from.
For more information about this service, or to sign up for the beta-test yourself, check out the following link:
http://secondlife.com/avaline
(Note that you will have to sign in to the forums using your SL user name & password.)
In case anybody is interested, my access code is 807141. Leave me a message!
Here's how it works:
1.) Dial one of the numbers listed below:
Boston: +1 617-861-0749
Chicago: +1 312-348-3694
Dallas: +1 972-813-0067
Los Angeles: +1 213-271-2575
New York: +1 212-660-9951
Philadelphia: +1 215-475-5291
San Francisco: +1 415-490-9443
Washington DC: +1 202-629-9859
London, UK: +44 20-7100-5624
(* long-distance rates may apply, check before you call)
2.) When prompted, enter the access code of the person you want to call, followed by the pound sign (#). [Obviously, you have to know their access code beforehand.]
-- If the person is logged in, and is currently accepting voice calls, they will get a notification, which looks like this:
Bear in mind that the person you call WILL be able to see what phone number you're calling from.
For more information about this service, or to sign up for the beta-test yourself, check out the following link:
http://secondlife.com/avaline
(Note that you will have to sign in to the forums using your SL user name & password.)
In case anybody is interested, my access code is 807141. Leave me a message!
Upcoming NYC show - Aequitas
More information about the show that my recent painting, Bending Trees, will be in.
From the press release:
From the press release:
AEQUITASDekka Raymaker Andrew MacLachlan Penumbra Carter Beth Olds Nebulosus Severine CM Pauluh Sowa Mai Stephen Beveridge David Ferrando Banrion Constantine Robert Garlick Elif Arat
For immediate Release:
Social media has drawn together a group of international artists to New York for Aequitas, an exhibit of art based on childhood experiences.
Artspace OSA in New York City and the virtual community of Second Life will host a joint exhibition of international artists: paintings, digital work, and virtual world installations during the month of June 2009.
Artists can be a solitary lot but with the advent of virtual worlds and web 2.0 they are finding each other and communicating in the way they know best: making and exhibiting art together. This disparate group of artists, having never met face to face, nevertheless finds a common ground in exploring their childhood for art.
Sowa Mai, also known as the artist Stephen Beveridge, conceived and planned this exhibit as an extension of the relationships he had formed in the Second Life virtual world with artist/avatars from different time zones and cultural backgrounds.
The exhibit in Washington Heights, New York City will display paintings and digital work by the human artists. An exhibit in the Second Life virtual world will consist of (art) installations and scripted objects by the human artists' avatar counterparts. Both exhibits are based around the theme of mining childhood experience for art.
Aequitas
Artspace OSA
June 1 - June 30, 2009
Reception Friday June 19th. 6:30-8:30
178 Bennett Ave @ 189th St, NYC
1 train to 191st Street | A train to 190th Street
Second Life Version
Caerleon Art Collective
June 26 - July 3, 2009
Reception June 26th. 6:30-8:30slpm
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Collective2/108/48/24/
Contact:
Stephen Beveridge
212 928 8351
SowaMai AT gmail dot comAEQUITASDekka Raymaker Andrew MacLachlan Penumbra Carter Beth Olds Nebulosus Severine CM Pauluh Sowa Mai Stephen Beveridge David Ferrando Banrion Constantine Robert Garlick Elif Arat
The Caerleon sims were founded by Georg Janick, the SL avatar of Gary Zabel who has been teaching in the Philosophy Department at the University of Massachusetts at Boston since 1989. Virtual Art Initiative (an associate member organization of the nonprofit company, Media Working Group, Inc.) is an organization of artists, writers, musicians, and scholars who are using the immersive and interactive digital media of such virtual worlds as Second Life to develop new forms of artistic content.
Virtual worlds are computer generated three-dimensional environments that allow people from around the globe to interact with one another through “avatars” (digital bodies) and shape their environments, both individually and collectively, by using graphical and programming tools.
Those involved in the Initiative believe that virtual worlds are like photography, cinema, video, electronic music, and so on in that they provide the opportunity, in the form of a new technology, for radically innovative forms of aesthetic expression. Most of our work is done on the Second Life virtual world grid, though some of us have worked in other virtual worlds as well, such as VastPark and OpenSim.
http://www.virtual-art-initiative.org/Virtual_Art_Initiative/Virtual_Art_Initiative.html
Artspace OSA is part of Our Saviour's Atonement Lutheran Church. With Rev. J. Barrie Lawless the church building is an active hub in the community hosting music, poetry and visual art as well as dance yoga and public meetings. The building is home to an ELCA Lutheran congregation with people from many different faith backgrounds. OSA is a Reconciling in Christ congregration, which actively welcomes and supports participations of its Lesbian and Gay members.
Source: http://sowamai.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/aequitas-june-2009/
Labels:
Aequitas,
Bending Trees,
mixed-reality,
Sowa Mai
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
4 years in Second Life.
Today marks the fourth anniversary of my arrival into Second Life -- my fourth "rez day," as it's called.
I celebrated the occasion as I usually do -- in solitude, in thought, while visiting the realms of an SL resident whose work I particularly admire, Baron Grayson.
(Incidentally, his rez day is about one year before mine, almost exactly - his is May 23, 2004.)
When I first came to SL, I spent much of my time at his island, Sanctum Sanctorum -- it was my "home" for the first couple of months. Baron's builds were my first realization that building, creating, and making art in Second Life could be something really extraordinary.
Several weeks ago, I visited his current sim, The Nameless Isle, and found a breathtaking scene at the virtual water's edge. I've spent hours there, immersed in the colors and ambient sounds.
As a tribute to Baron Grayson, I made a brief machinima with some video clips I filmed there:
(Incidentally, his rez day is about one year before mine, almost exactly - his is May 23, 2004.)
When I first came to SL, I spent much of my time at his island, Sanctum Sanctorum -- it was my "home" for the first couple of months. Baron's builds were my first realization that building, creating, and making art in Second Life could be something really extraordinary.
Several weeks ago, I visited his current sim, The Nameless Isle, and found a breathtaking scene at the virtual water's edge. I've spent hours there, immersed in the colors and ambient sounds.
As a tribute to Baron Grayson, I made a brief machinima with some video clips I filmed there:
(If you cannot see the above embedded video, click here)
Thank you, Baron, for continuing to inspire me 4 years later.
Labels:
Baron Grayson,
introspection,
Relic,
Rez Day,
Sanctum Sanctorum,
The Nameless Isle
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Arrgghh
Consumers of the world: Read the Return Policy BEFORE you buy. Don't take it out on us because you couldn't be bothered.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My newest painting in upcoming NYC show
I was asked recently by artist Stephen Beveridge (known as Sowa Mai in Second Life) to participate in a crossover real life/Second Life art event. A few other artists from SL are also participating, Dekka Raymaker (Arthole's current guest artist) and Penumbra Carter among them.
The theme of the show, as told to me by Stephen, is "mining your childhood for art exploration." I had no trouble coming up with an idea for a painting; in fact, I had a particular set of childhood memories in mind that I have been meaning to channel into some art for a long time now. I'm not going to go into exactly what those memories are in this post, but I will share the image of the painting itself and the title.
The theme of the show, as told to me by Stephen, is "mining your childhood for art exploration." I had no trouble coming up with an idea for a painting; in fact, I had a particular set of childhood memories in mind that I have been meaning to channel into some art for a long time now. I'm not going to go into exactly what those memories are in this post, but I will share the image of the painting itself and the title.
Bending Trees (diptych)
Year: 2009
Dimensions: 16 in. X 10 in.
Media: Acrylic and thread on canvas.
I am relatively close to NYC, but rather than deliver this painting myself, I shipped it out and it arrived there Tuesday. I haven't decided yet whether I am going to attend the opening reception, but I have time to think about it. At the very least, I will be attending the Second Life event.
Show details:
AequitasMore details soon!
OSA Artspace
June 1 - June 30, 2009
Reception Friday June 19th. 6:30-8:30
178 Bennett Ave @ 189th St, NYC
1 train to 191st Street | A train to 190th Street
Second Life Version
June 26 - July 3, 2009
Reception June 26th. 6:30-8:30slpm
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Art%20Collective2/108/48/24/
Labels:
Aequitas,
Bending Trees,
Dekka Raymaker,
mixed-reality,
paintings,
Penumbra Carter,
Sowa Mai,
Stephen Beveridge
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A call to my fellow artists: What do you consider YOUR first work?
On my last Arthole Radio show, I proposed an interesting challenge to my fellow artists.
I got the idea a few months ago, when I received the book No. 1: First Works by 362 Artists, edited by Francesca Richer and Matthew Rosenweig. It features a wide variety of 20th century artists like Matthew Barney, Dale Chihuly, Chuck Close, Gilbert & George, Takashi Murakami, and Robert Longo.
An excerpt from the review page for the book:
What do you consider YOUR first work?
Contact me with your contributions either in Second Life, on Facebook, or by email. Whether you'd like to record a conversation about it, or write something, or if you'd like to send pictures of the work in question, however you want to do it is fine by me.
I will discuss the contributions to this project, including my own, beginning with my next show on Arthole Radio, which airs on Weds, May 27th. I will follow up with more entries during later shows, so if you can't make this month's deadline, that's okay too.
I look forward to hearing about YOUR first works!
I got the idea a few months ago, when I received the book No. 1: First Works by 362 Artists, edited by Francesca Richer and Matthew Rosenweig. It features a wide variety of 20th century artists like Matthew Barney, Dale Chihuly, Chuck Close, Gilbert & George, Takashi Murakami, and Robert Longo.
An excerpt from the review page for the book:
The artists were asked to submit what they considered their "first" work of art--not necessarily the first piece they ever created, but the one that first successfully represented who they are as an artist today. Some of the works are first "mature" works, others are seminal or pivotal, others are catalysts, some are new beginnings. These submissions, along with written artists' statements, make up this fascinating look at the process of art-marking.
(source: http://www.artbook.com/1933045094.html)
What do you consider YOUR first work?
Contact me with your contributions either in Second Life, on Facebook, or by email. Whether you'd like to record a conversation about it, or write something, or if you'd like to send pictures of the work in question, however you want to do it is fine by me.
I will discuss the contributions to this project, including my own, beginning with my next show on Arthole Radio, which airs on Weds, May 27th. I will follow up with more entries during later shows, so if you can't make this month's deadline, that's okay too.
I look forward to hearing about YOUR first works!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Bunnyken Party video
Here's a quick machinima I threw together with footage I captured this past Friday --
(Click here if you cannot see the embedded video)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Last-minute Bunnyken party at Le Cimetiere
Some of my friends from Le Cimetiere have requested a Bunnyken party!
So at the last minute, I had to scramble to throw something together, but I think it will be a fun time.
It will begin Friday evening at 7 pm SLT and last until the wee hours of the morning.
My friend, DJ Emi Brissot, will be spinning the tunes.
FREE Bunnyken avatars will be provided!
All are invited!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Le%20Cimetiere/206/218/167
So at the last minute, I had to scramble to throw something together, but I think it will be a fun time.
It will begin Friday evening at 7 pm SLT and last until the wee hours of the morning.
My friend, DJ Emi Brissot, will be spinning the tunes.
FREE Bunnyken avatars will be provided!
All are invited!
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Le%20Cimetiere/206/218/167
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Technical difficulties
I will be taking most of this week off from Second Life and other internet-related activities to do a complete system restore of my computer. This will take awhile since I have a TON of backups to make beforehand.
I will still be able to access my email for the most part (via my cellphone).
Wish me luck. :(
I will still be able to access my email for the most part (via my cellphone).
Wish me luck. :(
Friday, May 1, 2009
Arthole Radio on New World Notes
Hamlet Au of Second Life blog New World Notes has generously written a very positive article about Arthole radio's most recent broadcast:
Read the full article here.
...This is an inspiring, profoundly moving audio compilation of great music and voices, artists from around the world of every age, offering insights into how they became the creators they are today. You'll be awed by the eclectic diversity of the music, everything from an avant garde composer from the 1960s to a contemporary Oakland hiphop group with belly dancer accompaniment, and the stories told by Residents from Japan, the US, the EU, Australia, and elsewhere. Sometimes there's a direct line from the music to their Second Life work, sometimes the connection is more subtle. In either case, it's one of the very best things to come out of the metaverse art world, audio testimony to a vibrant community, and the soundtrack that helped make it real...
Read the full article here.
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