Fracture Fridays

Well, cutbacks have been made at work, and for the time being at least it seems like I have most Friday evenings free. Thus, I have decided to play a couple of DJ gigs in Second Life at Fracture ("Fracture is a club presenting eclectic aural adventures. We are a haven for an eccentric and lovely crowd of oddballs, queers, freethinkers, radical faeries, gender transgressors, lefties, and mad scientists. All species and orientations welcome.")

"Welcome to Fracture! I'm your DJ, Nebulosus Severine.

Come on down! I'll play some music, we'll talk, no big whoop."

I am going to compile any tips I earn to supplement a savings fund in order to make it to Fracturecon this year -- an annual summertime gathering of Fracture regulars. I've never traveled by myself before, nor have I ever flown. One of my goals this year, as a way of expanding my horizons and growing as a person, is to do both. I have spent a lot of my life in fear of experiencing many things, and I am tired of being confined by those self-imposed restrictions.

Earlier tonight (or, technically yesterday), I played a more themed set:

"Up here in the Northeast, we just survived Snow-mageddon 2011! Help me to commemorate this milestone by swinging by Fracture, tonight (Friday) beginning at 6 pm SLT - I'll be providing winter-themed music and a temporary art installation to match. Dubious Longfall will be taking the DJ reigns after me. Hope to see you there!!"

I'll continue to make posts about my radio shows here. Eventually I'll get around to posting my setlists and stuff too... maybe.

(See also -- Fracture Radio!)

This year

‎2011 seems like the year I could really start to make shit happen, you know?

UWA People's Choice Awards

Voting for the People's Choice Awards for the December round of entries for the UWA 3D Open Art Challenge is going on now.

There are tons of amazing artists contributing work -- go check it out and vote for your favorites! Please do take note that the voting system has changed & that ALL artworks can be rated on a scale of 1 to 3, so vote for as many as you like!

My entry for this round is Bunnyken In La-La Land:

Voting ends January 7th, so hurry hurry!

SLURL: http://slurl.com/secondlife/UWA/69/128/249

Curator's Choice Award (late post)

My artwork entitled Cold, desolate, and alone won the Curator's Choice Award for the November round of the UWA 3D Open Art Challenge. The announcement ceremony was on December 5th, but I am only just getting caught up with blog stuff now.

Jayjay Zifanwe: Now for the newly established Curator's Choice Award (L$2,500). I'll use FreeWee Ling's words to explain it: "As the curator of the UWA challenge I live and work with all of these works in a very intimate way over a period of time that is qualitatively different from the casual gallery visitor. The Curator's Choice award is not necessarily what I consider to be the best piece in the competition. Rather it is a piece or an artist that is not a prize winner, but that I think deserves a deeper look. The winner does complex work that is disturbing and dark. While Gothic subjects tend to be sensational and unappealing to me -- blood and gore for its own sake-- I find myself really engaged by the quality of both her imaginative vision and her renderings in virtual space that combine elements of her real and virtual work. This piece is an imaginative and courageous emotional statement. She is an intelligent and deeply thoughtful artist." And thus it is, that the very first Curator's Choice Award (L$2,500) goes to COLD, DESOLATE & ALONE by Nebulosus Severine.

Thank you to Jayjay and FreeWee and to everyone involved with the UWA!

More info about the UWA:
The University of Western Australia in Second Life

Phase 2 of Financial Independence - Update

Slowly but surely, I am making progress toward Phase 2 of Financial Independence - Getting a cheap, drive-able car. I've been saving as much as I can, which usually only amounts to a few bucks a week after all my bills are paid and stuff.

At this moment in time, I have $366 dollars in my savings account. If you are inclined to help me toward my financial goal, bear in mind that any money I make from selling art will go straight into my savings. I still have 3 paintings for sale on Etsy - http://www.etsy.com/shop/Nebulosus

I also am eagerly willing to take on commission work. If you're interested, please do contact me via email (nebulosus DOT severine AT gmail DOT com).

If you're interested in making a donation, you can do so through Paypal.

Thank you for your continued support.

It's the little things.

Last evening, I learned an important life lesson.

Sneaking wine into the movie theatre & getting tipsy whilst watching people get ripped apart on the big screen = AWESOME.

Article: The 'two-spirit' people of indigenous North Americans

Thought this would a great article to share in honor of National Coming Out Day.

The 'two-spirit' people of indigenous North Americans
Walter L Williams

Native Americans have often held intersex, androgynous people, feminine males and masculine females in high respect. The most common term to define such persons today is to refer to them as "two-spirit" people, but in the past feminine males were sometimes referred to as "berdache" by early French explorers in North America, who adapted a Persian word "bardaj", meaning an intimate male friend. Because these androgynous males were commonly married to a masculine man, or had sex with men, and the masculine females had feminine women as wives, the term berdache had a clear homosexual connotation. Both the Spanish settlers in Latin America and the English colonists in North America condemned them as "sodomites".

Rather than emphasising the homosexuality of these persons, however, many Native Americans focused on their spiritual gifts. American Indian traditionalists, even today, tend to see a person's basic character as a reflection of their spirit. Since everything that exists is thought to come from the spirit world, androgynous or transgender persons are seen as doubly blessed, having both the spirit of a man and the spirit of a woman. Thus, they are honoured for having two spirits, and are seen as more spiritually gifted than the typical masculine male or feminine female.

Therefore, many Native American religions, rather than stigmatising such persons, often looked to them as religious leaders and teachers. Quite similar religious traditions existed among the native peoples of Siberia and many parts of Central and southeast Asia. Since the ancestors of Native Americans migrated from Siberia over 20,000 years ago, and since reports of highly respected androgynous persons have been noted among indigenous Americans from Alaska to Chile, androgyny seems to be quite ancient among humans.

Rather than the physical body, Native Americans emphasised a person's "spirit", or character, as being most important. Instead of seeing two-spirit persons as transsexuals who try to make themselves into "the opposite sex", it is more accurate to understand them as individuals who take on a gender status that is different from both men and women. This alternative gender status offers a range of possibilities, from slightly effeminate males or masculine females, to androgynous or transgender persons, to those who completely cross-dress and act as the other gender. The emphasis of Native Americans is not to force every person into one box, but to allow for the reality of diversity in gender and sexual identities.

Most of the evidence for respectful two-spirit traditions is focused on the native peoples of the Plains, the Great Lakes, the Southwest, and California. With over a thousand vastly different cultural and linguistic backgrounds, it is important not to overgeneralise for the indigenous peoples of North America. Some documentary sources suggest that a minority of societies treated two-spirit persons disrespectfully, by kidding them or discouraging children from taking on a two-spirit role. However, many of the documents that report negative reactions are themselves suspect, and should be evaluated critically in light of the preponderance of evidence that suggests a respectful attitude. Some European commentators, from early frontier explorers to modern anthropologists, also were influenced by their own homophobic prejudices to distort native attitudes.

Two-spirit people were respected by native societies not only due to religious attitudes, but also because of practical concerns. Because their gender roles involved a mixture of both masculine and feminine traits, two-spirit persons could do both the work of men and of women. They were often considered to be hard workers and artistically gifted, of great value to their extended families and community. Among some groups, such as the Navajo, a family was believed to be economically benefited by having a "nadleh" (literally translated as "one who is transformed") androgynous person as a relative. Two-spirit persons assisted their siblings' children and took care of elderly relatives, and often served as adoptive parents for homeless children.

A feminine male who preferred to do women's work (gathering wild plants or farming domestic plants) was logically expected to marry a masculine male, who did men's work (hunting and warfare). Because a family needed both plant foods and meat, a masculine female hunter, in turn, usually married a feminine female, to provide these complementary gender roles for economic survival. The gender-conforming spouse of two-spirit people did not see themselves as "homosexual" or as anything other than "normal".

In the 20th-century, as homophobic European Christian influences increased among many Native Americans, respect for same-sex love and for androgynous persons greatly declined. Two-spirit people were often forced, either by government officials, Christian missionaries or their own community, to conform to standard gender roles. Some, who could not conform, either went underground or committed suicide. With the imposition of Euro-American marriage laws, same-sex marriages between two-spirit people and their spouses were no longer legally recognised. But with the revitalisation of Native American "red power" cultural pride since the 60s, and the rise of gay and lesbian liberation movements at the same time, a new respect for androgyny started slowly re-emerging among American Indian people.

Because of this tradition of respect, in the 90s many gay and lesbian Native American activists in the United States and Canada rejected the French word berdache in favour of the term two-spirit people to describe themselves. Many non-American Indians have incorporated knowledge of Native American two-spirit traditions into their increasing acceptance of same-sex love, androgyny and transgender diversity. Native American same-sex marriages have been used as a model for legalising same-sex marriages, and the spiritual gifts of androgynous persons have started to become more recognised.

Walter L Williams is the author of The Spirit and the Flesh (Boston: Beacon Press) and is Professor of Anthropology, History and Gender Studies at the University of Southern California.

(Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/oct/11/two-spirit-people-north-america)

Shadows & Spirits show -- opens today!

My installation, 'Ulalume,' is inspired by the poem of the same name by Edgar Allan Poe.

Hope to see you there!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Universe/82/58/25

Last days of the Barnes & Noble Music Department, Enfield CT

At 8:04 pm on October 5, 2010, the Music Department in our store ceased to exist.

I spent about 6 years working in this department. I helped to set it up before this store even opened in the Fall of 2002. I'll carry on elsewhere, and adapt to the changes at work as I've always done, but this is still difficult to come to terms with.

I brought up the customer orders/holds to the front, and made this sign to hang outside the (former) Music department. As I wrote the last couple of letters, I broke down a bit.

See the rest of the set here --



(Click here if you are unable to view the above embedded slideshow --
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nebulosus_severine/sets/72157624981107435/show/)

New drawing -- Aphonic

(Done a couple of weeks ago.)

Aphonic
Ballpoint pen on paper
Approx. 8.5 in. x 11 in.
(September 2010)

The Darkness with the Infinite Depths

I am a bit behind in blogging my latest installation, The Darkness with the Infinite Depths.

EXAMINATION OF THE AVATAR AS A TRANSMUTABLE SELF-PORTRAIT.
The compulsion to express my emotions visually (viscerally) through my avatar has lead me to deep introspection and profound exploration of self-knowledge as an artist and a sentient being. It is allowing me to free my essential, inner self; to evolve/grow/heal -- emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically.

slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Isle/220/128/40

Part of The Caerleon Museum of Identity
Grand Opening Saturday, October 2, 2010
Collaborative Multi-Artist Exhibition Features Works of 18 Artists

The 18 artists participating in this collaboration include:

* Artistide Despres
* Botgirl Questi
* Cat Bocaccio
* Chrome Underwood
* FreeWee Ling
* Fuscia Nightfire
* Gracie Kendal
* Ian Pahute
* L1aura Loire
* Lollito Larkham
* Maya Paris
* Nebulosus Severine
* Pete Jiminy
* Pixels Sideways
* RAG Randt
* Sabrinaa Nightfire
* Taralyn Gravois
* Wotthe Dickins

No use

I don't want to fucking feel anymore.

I don't want to desire, or want, or need anymore.

I want to kill off these parts of myself that crave human companionship, or affection, or love, or the need to be fucked. These urges are of no use to me whatsoever.

Fucking DIE.

FUCK you.

Fuck you, Roan.

Suck it up, crybaby

Really, really don't like my life right now. Oh fucking well. There's nothing for me to even say or do anymore except to shrug and suck it the fuck up and just carry on, because it's either that or die. Right about now I prefer the latter. Sick of this shit.

Phase 2 of financial independence - Get a cheap, drive-able car.

Thus far, I have asked for more hours at work by offering to cross-train in other departments as well as open up my availability in what hours I am able to work. Beginning the third week of September, I will begin training to work in the Cafe. Hopefully, I will be able to sustain the extra 10 or so hours a week.

With that, I can begin Phase 2 of moving toward financial independence -- getting a car.

In the next month I plan to quickly stockpile about $500 or so, and enlist the help of knowledgeable friends, to get me a halfway decent car that will at least get me around town so that I won't have to rely on others for rides. That will make it a LOT easier for me to get a second job.

I'm also working more on my Second Life shop to hopefully bring in whatever pennies I can. Autumn's pretty much here and my Halloween items have always sold very well, so I plan to maximize that potential.

I also gratefully accept donations, if you are so inclined.

'Autosarcophagy' closing

I will be dismantling my installation 'Autosarcophagy' next weekend - it will be gone by the end of the day on Sept. 12, so come see it while you still can!

As always, thank you for your support!

Click this SLurl to visit in-world:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Kress/170/89/391

Canvas

Ad seen in a magazine today:

"An Artist Wouldn't Destroy His Canvas Before Creating A Masterpiece..."

I destroy canvases, before ever applying a drop of paint, on a fairly regular basis. Seems to work for ME.

(Dunno if I'd consider my stuff 'masterpiece' quality, but...you know what I mean.)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

My drawing, The Language of Flowers, published in The Hartford Courant

Several months ago, I submitted some artwork to the iTowns section of The Hartford Courant, a Connecticut newspaper. It prints the work of local artists once a week; and my drawing, The Language of Flowers, was selected for the August 22, 2010 edition.

Past iTowns covers by other artists can be seen here:

courant.com/itownsgallery

Local Connecticut artists can nominate their work here:

www.courant.com/submitcoverart

Life change, Step 1: Financial independence

I've been unfulfilled with my life in many ways for a long, long time and it's about time I started taking charge of my fucking destiny. I know that big changes are imminent to my personal life anyway, so I may as well try to direct the course of things as best as I can.

It's going to be a series of baby-steps probably, but I need to take them instead of just remaining trapped in this misery while life and everything else passes me by.

I came to the conclusion, while talking with some dear close friends over the past couple of days, that the first step I need to make, and probably the most difficult, is achieving Financial Independence. I've never been financially independent in my entire life. I'm far behind on bills and I don't have a car (haven't had one in over two years).

So, the first step I've taken in taking that first step is opening up my work schedule availability so that I can get more hours. Basically, I told the scheduling manager to use me like a bitch. At least I'll be starting to make a bit more money; maybe I'll be able to get a car. Then, maybe I can get a better job, or a second one, or both.

Baby steps.

Also, I'm terrified about my future. Just sayin'.

More weird patterns.

Tonight, probably about 7 people asked me where the restrooms are. I haven't had anyone ask me that in weeks, probably; and now today, everybody and their grandmother has asked me. Why the hell does stuff like that happen?

Also weird: Just today, for no apparent reason, I thought of a semi-regular customer -- her face just popped into my mind. Nobody I see that often, just someone I recognize. Annnnnd about an hour ago, she was in here. Weird.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T