Thursday, August 20, 2009


Who the fuck am I?

What the fuck do I want?

What the fuck should I do?

Why is the path so fucking unclear?

So fucking lost & terrified.


Dekka Raymaker / Andrew MacLachlan said...

I don't know what to say Neb, except that is how I have thought from the age of 5 days old to the age of 51 years old.

My school friends all knew what they wanted, a wife, children, a car, a house, a job with good pension benefits. I never really looked for that and it afforded me to move through life making the decisions I have when I wanted to.

My friends were all divorced at sometime and all they did was replace one wife with another "must fill the gap", ignoring the opportunity to do something else with their life. Getting something wrong isn't always a fail.

I have always thought I'd get my rewards later in life, and I have thought "why the fuck do I have to wait", but as those rewards have come they have been so much more the sweeter than if they came earlier. If you see what I mean :)

Sphynx Soleil said...


Penumbracarter said...

Listening to Jack White and Lorretta Lynn's cd tonight, that could shake it up:P

Mab MacMoragh said...


(( (neb) ))

i don't want to sound preachy but i have had these same thoughts and questions many times in my life (as dekka says from the age of awareness till now)

maybe that is why we are artists, a blessing and a curse

there is a simple little book i read a lot, a chapter a night sometimes, cover to cover again and again like a meditation over the years, to help me keep perspective, i think so highly of it i have given it to all my family members and everyone i have ever loved dearly, it is called _the way to love_ by anthony de mello and although the chapters each start with a bible verse (don't let that put you off) the words themselves are like the stones that someone has left on a trail to mark the way

in my opinion essential reading for artists, and lovers, indeed for anyone who is passionate by nature and in danger of being crushed by their attachments- you can only truly love if you are truly free

Vanessa Tanith VanAlstyne said...

if you didn't ask these questions i don't think you'd be human. I know that's not really very comforting, but it's the best thing i can say to you.