Sunday, July 31, 2011

New art piece in new gallery show

At 6 pm yesterday evening, I started work on a new project.

As of 11 am today, it is hanging in the Salacious group show (at the Gallery at the Wauregan in Norwich, CT).

I pulled an all-nighter and somehow managed to get it done. Took less than 36 hours from concept to completion. No idea how the hell.

'Physical' in progress

I'm not crazy about the piece, but I've lost most of my cognitive function at this point anyway so I have lost any capacity to have an objective viewpoint about it.

Title: Physical
Year: 2011
Dimensions: approx. 20 in. X 50 in.
Media: Mixed Media / Canvas

Salacious - Gallery at the Wauregan, Norwich CT
Anyway, it'll be here until August 27th. The opening reception is on Friday, August 5, 2011, 6-9 PM. I won't be able to attend since I will be on holiday.

More pics here:

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Friday, July 22, 2011

New drawing

Ballpoint pen on paper
Approx. 11 in. x 8.5 in.


Oftentimes, it doesn't matter how much you want something to happen, or want something NOT to happen; you're not going to get what you want no matter how much your soul and heart and guts cry out for it. Sometimes you just have to shrug and walk away and keep on living because what else is there to do, really?

Monday, July 18, 2011

3 new drawings

Scatter the Ashes
Scatter the Ashes
Ballpoint pen on paper
Approx. 8.5 in. x 5.5 in.

Ballpoint pen on paper
Approx. 11 in. x 8.5 in.

Sunday Night, Descending
Sunday Night, Descending
Ballpoint pen on paper
Approx. 11 in. x 8.5 in.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Filmed by Chantal Harvey, this is a wonderful documentation of ORIENTATION, the performance art project that Arahan Claveau (aka Steve Millar) and I worked on in Second Life. Much thanks to Dekka Raymaker and Penumbra Carter for their help, and thanks to everyone who attended as well!! It was a great success and we all had fun!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bunnyken mold-making adventure

Bunnyken head

In the very near future, I will be embarking on a creative adventure in attempts to make a mold of the Bunnyken head, with assistance from my friends & fellow artists Amy Wilson and Ben Parker. Stay tuned for details as they emerge!

ArthOle group on Flickr

Arahan Claveau (aka Steve Millar) has created a new group on Flickr for images (old & new) relating to the ArthOle gallery, events and performances. Yay!

(* Many are probably NSFW.)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

ArthOle reforms for Odyssey

ArthOle reforms for Odyssey
(picture and text courtesy of Arahan Claveau/Steve Millar)

ArthOle reforms for Odyssey

ArthOle has reformed for the 2011 Odyssey Performance Art Festival, and will host a remixed performance of ORIENTATION (last seen in 2009).

ORIENTATION is a multimedia promenade performance that relies on audience participation. The attendees arrive at the location and will be guided by interactions from the actors.

Due to the nature of the performance, numbers will be limited to ten people per date, on a first-come, first-served basis. Please reserve your place by contacting Arahan Claveau or Nebulosus Severine in-world.

First performance:
Sunday 10th July at 12pm SLT/PDT, 3pm EDT, 8pm BST

Second performance:
Thursday 14th July at 12pm SLT/PDT, 3pm EDT, 8pm BST

Duration – 20 minutes (approx.)

" played with different tropes that already exist within the medium, in a way that's far better than most other pieces I've ever seen."
Amy Wilson

Neb in the Cities

Men In The Cities tribute

Men In The Cities tribute

I was invited to an art party in Second Life:

"time to get outrageous... On now...Yes tonight its all arty farty, cos we are an art gallery after all.
The theme is WEARABLE ART.
Come in your most outrageous and interesting outfit that can only be described as Wearable Art.
Come as a painting, as modern art, or a designer amazing...The chance to really dress it up..."

... So I decided to make an avatar based on Robert Longo's 'Men In The Cities' series. Pose (quickly thrown together) and box frame made by me.

See also:

Monday, July 4, 2011

One year ago, Independence Day

[*Warning -- this might be disturbing to people who are sensitive about the topic of self-injury/self-harm. Proceed at your own discretion. However, this is a positive blog post, a reflection of how much I have grown and become stronger in the past year.]

One year ago exactly, I had a mental and emotional breakdown and I took a box cutter to my left arm (since I am right-handed) and cut it open in several places. I bled a lot, but the wounds did not even come close to being life-threatening.

Contrary to what you might think, it was not a suicide attempt. This might be something that only other self-harmers understand. It was an act of pain and suffering, and a desperate act for sure, but I was not trying to kill myself.

When I was calmer, I cleaned up the wounds. Most were rather superficial cuts, although one was a bit deeper. I ended up having an allergic reaction to the topical cream I applied to it, and had to go to a walk-in medical facility a couple days later (where they administered a tetanus shot and yet another variety of topical cream). None of the cuts required stitches. I kept my arm wrapped up in bandages and long sleeves. I made up excuses about what happened to me, since the gauze wrapping my entire forearm was something I couldn't hide. I wore long sleeves for a long time after the wound had healed.

To make a long story short, it is one year later exactly since I opened my flesh. Most of the scars are barely visible now, except for an inch-long one which is pink and raised. It is fairly noticeable, and I used to be self-conscious about it for a long time, especially around family members who might become alarmed. Gradually, I cared less and less who noticed the scar, and I wear short sleeves without really caring who sees it anymore.

One year ago, I would never have guessed that I would feel as strong and powerful and self-confident as I do right now as I sit here typing this. I have grown and changed and learned so much about myself in the past year. In just the past few months alone, I have gained so much self-confidence and strength that my one-year-ago-self would barely recognize me today.

I don't feel the need to hide my scar anymore. Eventually yes, my family members will see it. I don't want to have to hide it anymore, or make excuses for it. My scar has become, to me, a symbol of my transformation. It has become a visible reminder of the fact that I survived the ordeals and trials and pain and trauma that, in the end, made me a much stronger person.

When you see my scar, don't feel bad for me; don't pity me or worry about me. I'm fine. Just look at me, and you'll see and feel and sense how much more comfortable I am to be existing in my own skin and my own world. I've got my mojo back, so to speak.

Sure, I still have my despairing moments; I'm still a highly sensitive, emotional creature, and circumstances in life affect me deeply, and that is one thing that will never change about me. But I bounce back more easily now. I have learned to rely on the support of friends and loved ones (I fucking love you all, by the way, and I can't thank you all for your love and patience).

Perhaps even more importantly, I have found a lot of my own inner strength. For the first time in a long time, I feel love for myself. I like myself, I love myself. I have gained so much independence from the self-loathing and shame that held me captive for the majority of my adult life.

This pink mark on my arm is not a scar, it's proof that I not only survived, but I am fucking thriving. Or starting to, at the very least. It's a fucking badge of honor and I am proud of it.

July 4th, 2010

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Saturday, July 2, 2011

To suffer

Stolen from a friend's Facebook post:

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

- Woody Allen