Friday, March 18, 2011

And at the end of the day, I am alone and I have nobody but myself

And at the end of the day, I am alone and I have nobody but myself

Why have I never learned how to comfort myself all that well?

Maybe I could learn to deal with the extreme overwhelming loneliness by keeping busy -- doing art, watching movies, listening to music, writing, reading, doing chores around the house; any number of these things and more. And sometimes I can force myself, keep myself distracted. But more often that not, I sit here paralyzed, impaled on my pain, and I torture myself with it, and I feel like I'm drowning and I can't do anything, I won't even fucking SLEEP, I just sit here tortured, until I literally cannot sit upright or stay conscious anymore.


1 comment:

Suzanne said...

I know. I have days like this, when I seem to just pulled into a downward vortex. You must reclaim your power. At times like this, move. Anywhere. Go to 7-11 if you have to. Get. Out. Of. The. House. Say hello to a stranger. At times like this, your life distills to three options: move, change, or die.