FUCK you.

Fuck you, Roan.

Suck it up, crybaby

Really, really don't like my life right now. Oh fucking well. There's nothing for me to even say or do anymore except to shrug and suck it the fuck up and just carry on, because it's either that or die. Right about now I prefer the latter. Sick of this shit.

Phase 2 of financial independence - Get a cheap, drive-able car.

Thus far, I have asked for more hours at work by offering to cross-train in other departments as well as open up my availability in what hours I am able to work. Beginning the third week of September, I will begin training to work in the Cafe. Hopefully, I will be able to sustain the extra 10 or so hours a week.

With that, I can begin Phase 2 of moving toward financial independence -- getting a car.

In the next month I plan to quickly stockpile about $500 or so, and enlist the help of knowledgeable friends, to get me a halfway decent car that will at least get me around town so that I won't have to rely on others for rides. That will make it a LOT easier for me to get a second job.

I'm also working more on my Second Life shop to hopefully bring in whatever pennies I can. Autumn's pretty much here and my Halloween items have always sold very well, so I plan to maximize that potential.

I also gratefully accept donations, if you are so inclined.

'Autosarcophagy' closing

I will be dismantling my installation 'Autosarcophagy' next weekend - it will be gone by the end of the day on Sept. 12, so come see it while you still can!

As always, thank you for your support!

Click this SLurl to visit in-world:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Kress/170/89/391

Canvas

Ad seen in a magazine today:

"An Artist Wouldn't Destroy His Canvas Before Creating A Masterpiece..."

I destroy canvases, before ever applying a drop of paint, on a fairly regular basis. Seems to work for ME.

(Dunno if I'd consider my stuff 'masterpiece' quality, but...you know what I mean.)
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My drawing, The Language of Flowers, published in The Hartford Courant

Several months ago, I submitted some artwork to the iTowns section of The Hartford Courant, a Connecticut newspaper. It prints the work of local artists once a week; and my drawing, The Language of Flowers, was selected for the August 22, 2010 edition.

Past iTowns covers by other artists can be seen here:

courant.com/itownsgallery

Local Connecticut artists can nominate their work here:

www.courant.com/submitcoverart

Life change, Step 1: Financial independence

I've been unfulfilled with my life in many ways for a long, long time and it's about time I started taking charge of my fucking destiny. I know that big changes are imminent to my personal life anyway, so I may as well try to direct the course of things as best as I can.

It's going to be a series of baby-steps probably, but I need to take them instead of just remaining trapped in this misery while life and everything else passes me by.

I came to the conclusion, while talking with some dear close friends over the past couple of days, that the first step I need to make, and probably the most difficult, is achieving Financial Independence. I've never been financially independent in my entire life. I'm far behind on bills and I don't have a car (haven't had one in over two years).

So, the first step I've taken in taking that first step is opening up my work schedule availability so that I can get more hours. Basically, I told the scheduling manager to use me like a bitch. At least I'll be starting to make a bit more money; maybe I'll be able to get a car. Then, maybe I can get a better job, or a second one, or both.

Baby steps.

Also, I'm terrified about my future. Just sayin'.

More weird patterns.

Tonight, probably about 7 people asked me where the restrooms are. I haven't had anyone ask me that in weeks, probably; and now today, everybody and their grandmother has asked me. Why the hell does stuff like that happen?

Also weird: Just today, for no apparent reason, I thought of a semi-regular customer -- her face just popped into my mind. Nobody I see that often, just someone I recognize. Annnnnd about an hour ago, she was in here. Weird.
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I'm Glad You're My Friend Day

Friday the 13th is also I'm Glad You're My Friend Day. So I'm taking this moment to express my gratitude to my friends, whom I love dearly -- I love you all and I don't know how the hell I'd survive without you.

The Voice of Love is Bleeding

I threw together a last-minute installation entitled The Voice of Love is Bleeding in The Cubes section at the Carleon Isle sim in Second Life and it will probably only be up through this coming Wednesday, Aug. 18th.

Do make sure to check out the other Cube installations as well.. a lot of amazing art by amazing artists!

SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caerleon%20Isle/40/113/65

For optimal viewing:

Please enable local lighting and set to Midnight.

Fly up and around the space to interact with the installation.

Halloween in July project

Some of my nearest and dearest friends in Second Life frequent, and run, a club called Fracture, and recently my friend Jubilant Quackenbush suggested the idea of having a Halloween in July event.

Jubi and our mutual friend Trinity Halberstadt put their heads together to brainstorm, and I built the creations as I envisioned them. Saturday, we had an epic party, with house DJs Luminis Kanto, Rose Mondalimare, and Fracture-founder Beta Bates!

I took a boatload of pictures:

Slideshow of all the pics:

(click here if you are unable to see the embedded slideshow)

Shark art prank

I happened to catch this on the news this morning:

Papier-mache shark attacks California statue

ARDIFF-BY-THE-SEA, Calif. — A bronze surfer statue near San Diego has been the target of many gags, but never one this big and scary.

Unknown predawn pranksters on Saturday surrounded the roadside statue in Cardiff-by-the-Sea with a papier mache model of a great white shark that appeared to be swallowing it whole.

Crowds of gawkers and photographers gathered around the 16-foot creation after the sun rose.

San Diego County sheriff’s Lt. Tony Ray said no criminal report was filed because there was no damage to the statue.

The $120,000 sculpture called “Magic Carpet Ride” was commissioned by the Cardiff Botanical Society in 2007.

The statue has been bedecked with bras, skirts and witch hats so many times that locals have come to call it “The Cardiff Kook.”

--The Associated Press

Mission accomplished

Got this offline IM today:

[7:40] C******** M*****: (Saved Tue Jul 27 09:03:46 2010) i love your bunny <3 You gave me nightmares .... xoxox

Confusing hairstyle

Um. I just saw a young-ish (early 20s?) guy with an intentional comb-over. Seriously. Most of his head was shaved (so, not actually balding), and the longer, stringy strands of hair were combed over that. I wish I were making this shit up. Oh well, I suppose I could have been hallucinating.

More weird

At work, again. I just sold two Bee Gees CDs to two separate, unrelated customers, in the past couple of hours. Prior to today, I can't remember the last time I sold a Bee Gees CD at all.

Artists' meeting, Push sim, July 24, 2010

A number of Second Life artists met today to discuss the future of collaborative projects in SL (& the metaverse at large), similar to the Brooklyn Is Watching concept.

A new plot of land has been donated for our use, and the meeting today was how to best proceed and continue.

It will be another space in which any artist can rez his or her work for a week at a time without restrictions on content.

The aim is, in part, to restart the practice of doing regular video podcasts & critiques of the work. The space will hopefully allow for performance and multimedia as well.

This meeting has hopefully kick-started a movement that will gain more serious recognition in the "real-life" art world.

Dumbphone

For a Smartphone, my Blackberry is pretty fucking dumb. Can't wait til I can (& can afford to) upgrade. Wanna switch companies, too, because AT&T doesn't offer any really decent phones. Bleh.

Weird

I'm at work. Two customers within the past hour forgot their keys on the register counter. Both were women; both paid for their purchases, left the department, then came back within a few minutes to retrieve their keys. Both sets of keys were left in the exact same spot; and in both cases, I failed to notice that the customer forgot to take her keys with her (I would have mentioned it), and I notice almost everything.

When I saw the second woman re-entering the department, the thought crossed my mind for a nanosecond, 'Wouldn't it be funny if she forgot her keys, too?' And sure enough, that's exactly what had happened.

That sort of thing VERY rarely happens, and tonight it happened twice in an hour? What the hell, haha. If it happens a third time, it'll be sort of freaky. Life is sometimes weird.

Newark Is Burning

Arahan Claveau's machinima response to the recent events surrounding Newark Is Watching:

Why was Mab's post deleted?

I used to be pretty heavily involved with the Brooklyn Is Watching (hybrid SL/RL) project in Second Life. To make a long story short (and this is just a very general explanation), BIW closed, became Newark Is Watching, and moved to a different sim, thanks to the very very generous donation of land by art supporter Mab MacMoragh.

Sadly, Mab soon has to give up the land that she so graciously donated for that length of time. She posted about the farewell recently on both the Brooklyn Is Watching and the Newark Is Watching blogs.

However, her post was deleted (censored?) from the NIW blog for reasons that aren't clear whatsoever. Her admin rights to the blog were removed, too.

So, for the purpose of drawing more attention to this, I have decided to repost Mab's post, plus the comments that followed.

we work in the dark
18 June 2010

We work in the dark–we do what we can–we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion, and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art. (Henry James)

Take care with people you meet because you can’t see what invisible mountain of burdens they carry. (Anon)

Arahan has posted on his blog about the surprise announcement that Oberon made on my behalf regarding my inability to continue with Newark is Watching. The comment I wrote in response was too large to be accepted, so I’m putting it here.

~~~~~~

Thank you for this Arahan. You’re a good friend. I haven’t made a statement about closing because I haven’t been capable of knowing what to think or say, and actually Oberon’s shocking (to me) group announcement was the first I’ve really thought about it in concrete terms. He knew I was struggling with a morass and took it upon himself to make it public, which was a tremendous favor to me as it unlocks the issues and makes things move along. I’m grateful for that.

I have no reason today to think the future of Newark is Watching will be anything other than different and interesting and new. This is my hope. The meeting on Saturday with all concerned (Gallery Aferro should attend) will be a beginning step to make it clearer what could happen, what the possibilities and limitations are, what the organization and structure of it should be.

Gallery Aferro has made public their preliminary schedule and, while I don’t know how it would all fall into place, it seems they now have time to learn and plan and revise, revise, revise, revise, if they’re serious and are open to the challenges, realities and possibilities of virtual art. My feeling is they’re interested in committing to a successful ongoing workable format, in whatever ultimate form it takes (probably a much different ultimate form than anyone can yet envision).

Last year when Jay asked me for land to temporarily rezz megaprims I was happy and honored to be in a position to help because I like him personally and felt like I knew him well enough to be able to judge that the financial sacrifice would be worthwhile. However neither of us could know then that not only would this temporary expense be prolonged indefinitely, but he was also asking for my blood, sweat and tears, and most of my real life useful waking hours (I don’t have many).

I don’t intend to take on an administrative role in the new Newark is Watching because it’s impossible for me, a severely disabled person who is frequently debilitated, to sort through nuts and bolts of something so complicated and labor-intensive. It’s dangerously easy for me as a naive nurturer to be swept into things like this over my head beyond my abilities. Too deep, too far. I hope to remain a quiet supportive observer of art on the periphery, as I was before. I have other dreams, long neglected now, set aside for Brooklyn is Watching’s sake. I have to be responsible with my life, as does everyone.

I can’t speak for others, but I have no feelings about what has happened on Push SIM with Brooklyn is Watching other than gratitude I could be of service. No regrets. Even if no one was making official podcasts, we were there talking about the art amongst ourselves, and in that real connection was poetry. I loved Brooklyn is Watching and its artists from everywhere with all their languages who would come and go and come back again leaving their marks and influences like waves on a beach. I’m not an art scholar or an art critic, though I respect those who genuinely are. I have no aspirations or abilities in Second Life to be anything other than an arts lover.
~~~~~~

The past is history. Let it go. Now is the time to prepare for the future. I wish Newark is Watching well. Thank you everyone for all you’ve done.

(crossposted)

Posted by Mab MacMoragh on Tuesday, July 20th, 2010 at 3:55 am.

----------------------------

2 Responses to “we work in the dark”

Mab, this is a beautiful post. Thank you so much for your support of all of us (I’m not even a SL artist and I feel so supported and nurtured by you!). Your support of SL art goes way beyond the financial – you’ve invested in us spiritually and emotionally, and I know that you gave of yourself until you were exhausted. I know you will remain an avid viewer, cheerleader, (generous) critic of, and participant in SL art, and I’m excited to see what this new chapter brings for you as well as the work that is yet to be made.

Left by Amy Freelunch on July 20th, 2010

----------------------------

Mab,

I did get your comment on my blog and have just published it and replied. I don’t know why it does that, I think it’s a bug, it does it to me too.

Anyway, ditto to what Amy said and here’s a copy of my reply -

“Thanks a lot for getting in touch and your thoughtful response.

I’ve been much less charitable in my summary of the situation than you, but your patience is a virtue I don’t posses. The lack of communication from Aferro has driven me nuts, call me old fashioned but when I ask questions I expect an answer. They’ve ignored us for a while now and that has caused a lot of bad feelings, so then to suddenly have a burst of activity and expect everyone to comply with their wishes whilst ignoring their failures strikes me as arrogant and deluded.

I do think the project has mainly fallen apart because of Jay’s absence, it needs an anchorman to keep everything focused, secure the guests etc. We all know that his organisation was sometimes chaotic but those early podcasts were often excellent, I listened to every episode very keenly, there were some brilliant guests who offered insights into SL art that was sorely lacking.

Jay seemed to lose interest and sort of wandered off, I still don’t really know why he did that, but the departure of the brains behind the project left a massive hole. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so harsh on Aferro, maybe they were roped into it without really knowing what was expected of them, after all Don at JTP was just the host, he didn’t get involved in organising anything else as far as I’m aware. But without Jay around his role has to be taken over by someone and so it is up to Aferro to take it on themselves or find (and pay) someone to do it for them.

I think you’re right to back off and protect yourself, there has to be a limit when things start affecting your health.

The most depressing thing about all of this is Brooklyn is Watching was a really great idea that has been badly neglected. Perhaps Newark will indeed rise to the challenge but it will take a lot of time and effort to bring it back to its former glory.

As you mentioned despite the absence of official podcasts there was still something worthwhile happening on Push. There was just so much uncertainty and confusion about BiW/NiW it always overshadowed everything positive.

Anyway Mab, big thanks to you for keeping the space alive for so long, it will be missed.”

Left by Arahan Claveau on July 20th, 2010

So... is there some reason that we're missing as to WHY the fuck Mab's post would have been deleted? She generously donated her land and time and money to supporting artists in SL without really asking for anything in return. The fact that she was basically given the finger by the NIW people is really goddamn awful.

She left these big boots behind at the Newark Is Watching parcel:

GIANT MOTHERFUCKING BOOT

Description: made for walkin'

----------------

Update - Mab has posted again on the Brooklyn Is Watching blog:

moving forward

Hello Gallery Aferro and Jay,

When I woke up today (I sleep at odd hours, similar to a baby’s schedule) I had communications that my latest blog post was taken off the Newark is Watching blog.

I can see that for myself now, and also that I have been denied access to the blog.

I realize it’s possible you may not understand this but I was involuntarily put in the very tough position of buffer between Aferro and Second Life® virtual artists whose work I care about and believe in, all of whom have been trying to do the best they could on a completely voluntary basis, blindfolded and hamstrung by uncertainty.

For every question you were asked and didn’t answer, I probably had a dozen related come to me, which I answered as well as I could and as promptly as I could, even if it was just to say ‘I don’t know, let’s try to find out’ or ‘we must keep an open mind’.

I have never attempted to influence anyone’s opinion on anything that has happened except to urge for understanding, patience and tolerance on your behalf.

The art in Second Life®, as in all participatory conceptual art, depends on engagement, curiosity, and timing – you get from it what you bring to it.

One of the things I have said to my son about being an artist is: Art must hit on the beat or have a good reason not to, otherwise it’s not art- it’s just dust in the wind.

Thank you for your time and as I said in my now-removed blog post, I wish you well.

Mab MacMoragh

Posted by Mab MacMoragh on Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 12:29 am.