Going easy on myself

One thing I need to really, really work on is how to stop HATING myself when I mess up, feel guilty, etc.

I have had good opportunity to hate myself tonight; I hurt someone near and dear to me very much and I was completely irrational and unfair and mean.

I feel overwhelmed with guilt as I lay here trying to fall asleep. My first instinct in situations like this is immediate, intense self-loathing. But in the half-awake haze of semi-consciousness, some inner voice made a very good point: "Yes, you SHOULD feel bad for what you've done, but DON'T hate yourself. Hate never solves ANYTHING. Make amends for what you've done in every way possible, LEARN not to fucking do it again, forgive yourself and grow up a little bit and move on."