There are times that I feel like just walking away from all of this -- Second Life, an art career, stuff like that.
I can't help but wonder: what is the point of it all?
Do I really have anything important or significant to say to the world? I mean, really?
I struggle with the notion that my work is mediocre at best, for the most part; and that I just can't hack it. I feel some joy at minor accomplishments & small victories, but it's not enough; I am unfulfilled. I keep trying, but I'm still left feeling empty. I'm not satisfied.
Plenty of artists & creative people are perfectly content to retread familiar art territory; and plenty of good, even GREAT art comes out of that process. But that's not enough for me. I struggle to find something NEW, to discover something that has never been seen or done before. Second Life art is a start, but... it doesn't quite fill that void yet for me, not yet anyway.
And even if I found sudden success in that respect -- What the hell would I do with the whole art world rat-race anyway? I couldn't handle that, at least not now, as I am.
These are all simply rhetorical questions; the only answers I can really expect are from myself, and with time.
I'm not giving up, I CAN'T give up. Just having an existential crisis, again. Questioning, re-examining, searching, wondering, thinking.